April

"Though there is no single known cause or cure, autism is treatable. Children do not “outgrow” autism, but studies show that early diagnosis and intervention can lead to significantly improved outcomes. With the right services and supports, people with autism can live full, healthy and meaningful lives." -Autism-society.org

April is Autism Awareness Month. Here are some things I would like you to be know. The CDC reports that autism is the most common of the five Pervasive Developmental Disorders, affecting an estimated 1 in 100 births (Centers for Disease Control Prevention, 2007). This means as many as 1.5 million Americans today are believed to have some form of autism. And this number is on the rise.

Autism is a spectrum disorder which means that persons who have the same diagnosis can present the disorder in different ways. And autism is four times more prevalent in boys than in girls. One of those boys is my son, Milo.

I do not believe there is any one cause or that there are actually more cases of ASD then there were in the past. I think that there are better diagnostic criteria and modern psychiatry just knows more about the brain. 10 years ago, Milo may have been diagnosed with ADHD or just labeled a bad kid. I wonder how many of the kids I grew up with- that I thought were bad boys or were weird or who had something that seemed so much more than ADHD- didn't get the diagnosis they needed or the help they deserved.

Something I don't spend a lot of time on is the why...why does my son have Asperger's Disorder. My husband likes to say that some people have the autism "switch" in their genetic code. For whatever reason, Milo's switch flipped on and he was diagnosed as on the spectrum in August of 2006. Milo's presentation is mild; you have to spend time with him in an academic or large group setting to even realize that something is amiss. What you would likely notice is that he can't sit still, that he has absolutely no internal filter...if he thinks it, he says it (that is improving, thank goodness),  and that he is WAY too smart for your average 8 year old. He also has motor skills issues, some interpersonal problems (more about that below), and a distinct lack of ability to see anything from another's point of view.

Milo is a gem of a kid. He has this hilarious wit and way of seeing the world that is quirky, and eccentric, and, well, autistic. And he is learning to adapt to a neurotypical world. Milo can't process what people are saying if he looks them in the eye, but he knows that it is considered disresptful not to look at them. So he and I came up with a coping skill. Milo looks at people's foreheads. That way he appears to be looking them in the eyes, but can focus instead on a less animated part of their face so he can actually hear what is said. He also knows tricks for dealing with his sensory system. It's very easy for Milo to become completely overstimulated. He will ask to listen to classical music, take a walk, practice deep breathing, eat crunchy or chewy food, drink through a straw, and a variety of other things to help him calm his nervous system and refocus. This took practice and training, but it's working out better that I had hoped.

Milo is going to have a productive life. He has skills and intelligence and family that refuse to let him fail or be limited in anyway. We view his diagnosis not as an end, but as part of who he is. And it's a small part at that. Like all of us, Milo has things he is good at and things he has to work on. He doesn't always understand people and social situations, but he is aware enough of his own limitations that he will talk to my husband and I and we can explain why things are the way they are (i.e. why you can't talk to or look at the guy next to you at the urinals) or how to deal with societal expectations that are particularly hard for him (why it's not okay to talk in a normal voice in church during the sermon).

Like all parenting, autism requires flexibility and patience. I remember one excursion to a restaurant where Milo was playing with a ketchup bottle. He was banging it on the table and had been asked to stop. When he did not follow through, I very sternly said "Drop it". So he did. When I reprimanded him for dropping the bottle on the table, he got very tearful and said, "But you said to drop it and I did." I felt about 2 inches tall at that moment because Milo was right. I did tell him to drop it and he had complied. I've learned to be more precise with my language and Milo has learned a few forms of figurative language, too.

Here is something else I want you to be aware of . Autism, while not curable, is treatable. As I mentioned before, early intervention is the key. Milo has friends and a social life and does really well at school. I don't know what his life would be like if we hadn't developed a treatment plan and stuck to it over the years.

The last thing to be aware of is the most important. You are not alone. If you suspect something is developmentally different about your child, it is better to know and set up your own intervention plan. It will be hard at first, but your family will find a way and you will find support in places that you didn't know existed.